


Twilight Time

by lucydwrites



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Other, public making out embarassment at its finest, thorcid - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-14 23:36:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14147103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucydwrites/pseuds/lucydwrites
Summary: This fic was inspired by the movie 200 cigarrettes movie. The New Year's Eve that thorcid began."I’m an empty canvas. Use me.”





	1. Chapter 1

Jamin hates New Year’s eve.

He had a long list of things he hated, but holiday traditions were unbearable. The whole ritual and hypocrisy, as though everything would magically change after midnight. The past suddenly forgotten, weightless. He could feninitely still feel his past in every muscle of his body. He knew that after the midnight bells everything would be the fucking same, no bibbidi-bobbidi-boos would mend his broken heart.

The image of Chris leaving his apartment the other day. Their awful fight. The realization he didn’t love him anymore. He didn’t want to go out, and Becky insisted that he couldn’t spend New Year’s eve having a bottle of Absolut for company in a dark room. He had no intention of changing his plans but agreed on moving  at least the scenario. He was in a cab going to a New Year’s party in Brooklyn. He knew his presence would disturb some queens, but he didn’t care. He was buzzed and in the mood to pick up a fight anyway. He glanced through the car window people on the streets. The taxi driver looked like Santa Claus and he was listening to [Twilight Time ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGwa2tw7Vws)by The Platters. 

They all seemed trapped in their own time warp: running from their past, desperate to fix things, to feel nothing or to feel it all. Jamin wanted to dive into oblivion.

*

When Jamin arrived at the pub he was feeling overwhelmed with New Year’s decorations as his sister took his hand leading him through the crowd. No familiar faces and he was relieved by that at least. They sat by the bar balcony, Becky analyzed her brother’s face. They looked like each so much that she could read him as herself.

“You’re drunk already”

Jamin just nodded not contesting the obvious with a grin, his eye lids heavy.

“And I intend to be like this for 2012. That’s my first year resolution” he agreed calling the bartender. He was very cute. Tall and dark, wearing thick framed glasses.

He ordered a martini and winked to him. Becky was not impressed with his wholecool exterior persona.

“Scratch that. My first resolution is that bartender” he added twirling the straw of drink and checking his ass while he was taking orders from the other side of the bar.

“You are a terrible drinker. You’re gonna end up throwing up in twenty minutes"  

He drank the whole thing in one gulp. She rolled eyes crossing her arms.

"I’m with the girls there in the booth. Come say hi at some point, okay?” she gave up leaving him alone.

He had one arm up ready to order another martini when he felt a hand on his shoulder squeezing it in a very intimate way.

“Betty!”

Thorgy’s face was there when he turned to see who dared to speak to him. This was Brooklyn, he was aware of his persona non grata status. Barely he recognized the face, and Thorgy’s arms were wrapping him in a hug. It took him a bit to realize that was Thorgy until the dreads were rubbing on the side of his cheeks. He sat in the stool by his side.

“How are you, girl? This is a late Christmas miracle to see you in these lands!”

Thorgy was smiling and smacked gently his leg.

He took a few seconds to answer, rearranging his energy to engage a conversation with Thorgy.  _Hoo boy, he talked._ Jamin wasn’t sure if he was in the mood for that, but he was smiling sweetly at him and he was probably the only sweet smile in sight at that party. He wanted to ask him how he managed  to be cheerful, when everyone, including him, was feeling like shit.

“Look Thorg…about that gig. I didn’t want to start a fight with the girls, it’s just that I can’t handle unprofessional people…I didn’t mean to say they were pretentious delusional amateurs” he started and he didn’t even know why he was bringing that up.

Thorgy cackled grabbing Betty’s leg and clutching it. He leaned closer, there was a lot of noise, and he could feel Thorgy’s perfume. His hair smelled fresh like baby shampoo. The trademark dreads wore loose in a half bun and he was wearing a gray t-shirt with black pants. It was strange the lack of color on him.

“You meant it, come on, girl. They  _were_ pretentious, but weren’t you at that age? And the whole thing heated up fast, but they were awful to you too…” Thorgy reassured him calling the waiter.

“Hey Thorgy!” the bartender met them again. Jamin noticed by their exchange of looks that they seemed to know each other.

“Tequila?” the bartender asked Thorgy expecting a positive answer.

“Hi Kevin, how are we today?’ Thorgy was leaning on the balcony in a provocative way "You’re gonna be my midnight kiss so you choose what I’m gonna drink” he continued flirting.

Jamin wasn’t annoyed with the fact that Thorgy was flirting with the guy he wanted to sleep with. It was a different feeling. He was more interested in the way Thorgy was flirting. He was such a goof and seeing Shane was rare. They were good friends, but they would only bump into each other in drag events. Thorgy and Acid Betty were constantly in the same room, but Shane and Jamin was a cosmic event.

Thorgy was cute as a boy, he recalled the day they met. His birthday. That strange and bubbly creature. Jamin would tend to take free kindness as an act, but he let off his guards the first time he heard Shane’s adorable laughter. They would always meet in the turn of the tide: that day Jamin was getting older losing his fight against time, and now the battle was on again.

The bartender just smiled conceited, which annoyed Jamin a little bit, leaving Shane swooning.

“Ugh, I want to sleep with him so badly” Shane uttered frustrated sipping Jamin’s martini, “But I don’t think he’s into me… _at all._..”  he continued playing with the olive toothpick.

Jamin peeked at the bartender again and he looked back, the man definitely seemed interested. He didn’t want to send  wrong signals, so he turned his attention to Shane. He was up for meaningless sex but he wasn’t a jerk. At least not with Shane.

“I guess it’s just one of those New Year’s cliches, you know what I mean?” he said giving the empty glass back to Jamin.

Kevin came back with a glass for Jamin and a beer for Shane. He stared at Jamin that didn’t respond, but he felt the bartender fingers brushing his when he handed the glass.

“I’m a walking cliche. My boyfriend dumped me and I’m getting drunk in New’s Eve in a party that I didn’t even want to go to in the first place” he cheered him gloomily getting closer to Shane’s face and ignoring the bartender constantly checking him out. Shane opened his mouth in shock with the confession. 

“Damn. That was brutal. Couldn’t he wait to January 1st?” Shane teased him and Jamin chuckled. His first genuine laughter during the day.

“You bitch…” he agreed stilling laughing taking another sip. 

“Sorry…I’m just really inappropriate when I hear sad stories. It’s my way of shutting them down” he replied giggling.

"Well…I was laughing…for two seconds. So thank you for that. Now I’ll go back to my miserable drunk, pathetic and horny state…”

Shane raised his brows when he heard horny.

“You should hook up with Kevin. I noticed him looking at you” Shane bluntly suggested and Jamin frowned in disdain, trying to cover the fact that he also knew that. He didn’t want to be in a uncomfortable place with Shane.

“I’m not fucking anybody tonight…I…I mean, I want to, because I’m a sad pig. But the ugly truth is that I feel like dying. I want to stand in front of Chris’ house holding a boombox with  _In your eyes_  playing and beg him to come back"

He strangely didn’t feel vulnerable bearing his soul like this to Shane. He took another gulp in his drink and Shane was looking at him, elbow leaning on the counter. His mind wondering in many places.

“I think nobody ever loved me like this…” Shane mumbled gazing dreamy at Jamin.

He looked back at his tiny blue eyes behind the glasses and wondered how was that possible. Shane was such a good person.

“Come on, Thorgles. I’ve seen you with many guys. Let this pity party only for me, will ya?”

“Yeah, but I don’t do boyfriends. I can’t even remember the last time someone stayed in my bed for more than 10 hours…” he recalled laughing but Jamin could notice a certain bitterness behind his words.

“And that’s not the dream?” Jamin asked cheering him up. “I move from boyfriend to boyfriend, and beliiiiiieve me. It’s overrated” he uttered in his lower register.

“You know, I used to think that they didn’t want to date a drag queen…because we’ve all been there”

Jamin agreed. They were still considered as freaks, no matter how  _Drag Race_ made it cool. 

“But then I realized that I was  _the freak_ …they actually like Thorgy. They like the illusion that I’m this colorful and radiant goddess. But then they wake up with Shane and I’m this handful, nerotic weirdo an-”

Jamin was shushing his mouth. Shane stopped talking looking at him amused and so Jamin grabbed both of his arms and stared at him. Jamin looked at his lips and he realized how inappropriate he was being, but it was too late.

“Shane…” he paused and look deeply into his eyes. “You’re amazing. If they don’t want to stay, fuck them. It’s their loss. You deserve someone to stay more than ten hours...”

Shane was in silence and serious but his expectation was building up.  _Did he think he was going to kiss him?_   Jamin found himself drawn to him as if he was a magnet.

“…or maybe at least for 18 hours?” he finished the sentence breaking the tension. Shane let go a soft nervous chuckle and Jamin could swear he was blushing.

They both took long gulps on their drinks so the whole thing wouldn’t get even more awkward. There was a shift in the air. Jamin looked around the balloons and New year’s decorations. Time was still standing still. He was hoping for the change.

“Will you stay?” Shane’s voice almost echoed over the muffled noise of the song playing.

Jamin laughed and looked at him, but he wasn’t joking.

“Let’s do it” he continued and Jamin was getting confused.

“You want meaningless sex and the guy I want to sleep with can’t stop staring at you. We can solve this on a win-win situation. Let’s fuck” Shane said as if he was ordering dinner.

Jamin was now nervously laughing.

“Thorgy, you’re drunk…what…I’m not…”

He was trying to formulate a sentence but all words were disappearing because he was feeling an electric charge running trough his body and he couldn’t believe he was actually considering the proposal.

“Look, I know I’m not your type…but come on. It will be fun! It’s New Year’s eve. Let’s ace all the cliche tropes”

“It’s not that…” he explained but he didn’t want to say Shane was his type either.  _Because he wasn’t_. Even though he loved his smile and he had the most ridiculous perfect legs. 

“So what’s the problem? You don’t think I’m serious…” he said deadly somber but clearly holding to not burst into laugh. He was having fun of how nervous Jamin was getting.

“Shane, honestly…we’ve know each other since forever. We’re friends…”

“I’ve slept with many of my friends. And I’m still friends with them, I mean, who is going to have sex with enemies anyway? It won’t mean anything. I mean, you’re still in love with your boyfriend. And I supposedly don’t even know what love is. I’m an empty canvas. Use me.”

Jamin was shaking his head and annoyed that Shane would think he was just an object.

“I know it won’t mean anything, we’re grown ups. Although we’re men in wigs, I think we pass the adulthood test” Jamin defended himself. 

Thorgy was smirking looking at him. He pursed his lips.

"So prove it” he challenged now really meaning it.

He drank the rest of his beer never leaving Jamin’s eyes.

He was leaning forward and grabbing Jamin’s leg, reaching to Jamin's earloabe to whisper something.

“I dare you to  _fuck me_ ” 

Jamin felt his stomach drop, and blood running faster. He finished his drink and took Shane by the hand and without putting much thought to it. In seconds they were cutting the crowd towards the bathroom. He didn’t know what he was doing but he didn’t want to stop. He was almost running, and Shane behind him squeezing his hand tightly. They got in the bathroom stall and entered the empty one. It was quite small and they were two huge men. Jamin stared at Shane expecting him to have the courage to go first because he was kinda frozen.

“Oh for fuck’s sake…”

Shane said rolling eyes and pulling him by his collar for kiss. Their teeth bumped and both of them started laughing. This was going to the top of bad decisions in his life. But he wasn’t going to give up. He pressed Shane on the wall and caught his face for an actual decent kiss. Then everything was fire, the minute he closed his eyes. Shane tasted different from Chris. His lips were soft and full, his tongue teased him, drinking in and out. He felt Shane’s limbs getting weaker as he pressed his hips against his. He felt Shane’s hands caressing his back and moving to grab his ass.

People were entering the bathroom and talking but they didn’t stop.

“Ugh I can’t believe people are making out here…”

They’ve heard some of them whispering and they started laughing. Shane pushed him to sit on the toilet and Jamin tried not to be disgusted about it. And he straddled him.Chris never liked to be on top.  _Chris_.

What was he doing? He still loved him.

His brain was screaming but Shane was there trying to shut it down, his lips pressed on his neck, his hand stroking his growing erection over the jeans. It was good. Not only good, but different and amazing good.

_“Jamin?”_

They heard Becky’s voice outside the stall and they stopped all flustered.

“Fuck!” he whispered and Shane looked at him trying to understand what was going on “It’s my sister” he replied to his expression.

“I can see your shoes. I want you to stop what you’re doing with whoever this is…Chris is here, Jamin.”

He uttered many fucks in a row and felt a sudden cold breeze surrounding him again. Shane got off him and adjusted his outfit.

“He is at the table with the girls. He wanted to look for you but I sensed that I should look for you by myself and I was right”

They heard her in silence. Trying to think about their next step.

"Shane…look…I’m sorry” he started but Shane was shaking his head and smiling avoiding to look at him, fixing his hair and pants fly.

“It’s cool…it’s cool…go get your stereo to play him  _In your eyes_ ” Shane reassured adjusting Jamin’s collar that was ruined. He realized  that he pulled him a little bit too hard.

Jamin wanted to say that this wasn’t meaningless, that those seven minutes in heaven were incredible. But Chris was there, and he really loved him.

He got out the stall and went along with Becky.

*

Shane woke up in a couch with the warmth of the sun hitting his face. He checked  himself, he was still dressed but didn’t know what house was he at. He could hear an oldie song playing somewhere  and there were corpses of post New Year party all over the floor. He prompted himself up and his cellphone fell on the floor. He picked it up and noticed the message from Jamin. He recognized the song as [ _“The great pretender”_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwfmbXJEBtY) by The Platters. He only recognized because his father was a big fan.

_Acid Betty: It wasn’t an 80’s flick reenacting, but I think I have a boyfriend again. You’re not a empty canvas, you’re art itself. Love you, Thorgles._

He laughed softly holding his cellphone near to his chest and wincing with the throbbing pain in his temper. The hangover would be a strong one.

“What an asshole…” he said to himself walking over the people on the floor trying to not stumble. 

_Oh yes, I’m the great pretender_   
_Pretending that I’m doing well_   
_My need is such; I pretend too much_

_I’m lonely but no one can tell_

The song was warning him in the background. The irony, he thought. 

His first resolution for 2012 was not auditioning for  _Rupaul’s Drag race_  anymore. 

The second one was not to pretend as much as he does.


	2. Workroom Musings

Shane had to ask the producers for another journal. It happened a lot, when he was a kid he would always write beyond of what was assigned. Even if it meant getting lower grades or being called weird by his classmates. He was a quiet and very observant boy, so the necessity of pouring his imagination somehow was there lurking, and as time went by he realized that he would never be able to control it.

It surely has taken its tolls on him, but he was blessed with parents that didn’t want him to repress it: he shaped it in the form of art. Music, fashion, theater, dance. Later on Thorgy absorbed it all. When he got to his teenage years, a switch was turned on. The thoughts found their own way to pour, but talking needed to be actually spoken out.

So he started the talk and never really stopped.

The isolation of the hotel room and constant pressure of the challenges triggered his inner introverted child habits. The first days he didn’t get any sleep at all and the only solution was to write until he was worn out. On the third day he was finally too exhausted and his body responded. He didn’t even hear the alarm went off. The passing of time was strange in their capsule. Doing drag in the morning was something that was accidental in real life, not on purpose. Breakfast tasted like dinner. He missed his red blanket.

He was asked by the producers to stir things up, to talk about his tragedies, to say shady things about the other girls, and he knew this would happen. But it felt weird, especially with Acid Betty and Bob. He wondered about editing constantly. They were a clique, and from past seasons he knew the drama that it involved.

_I’m doing fine, they like me._

It was the first thing he’d say looking at the bathroom mirror before leaving the hotel room. In the middle of the hall his anxiety would respond:

_They like you, but it’s not enough._

_*_

 

Jamin was coming out of his bedroom, sunglasses on, and the first thing he saw in the morning was Shane's worried face.

"Good morning” he greeted Shane absently as he closed the door.

Shane deep sighed, “Morning"

The other girls were by the elevator door chatting. Jamin was not a morning person. And most of humans can say that, but his case was very accentuated and most of the girls noticed they should keep distance. The first hours of the day he was moody and and would snap on anyone. He certainly didn’t want to hear Thorgy’s rant so he tried to get away from him as quick as he could, but there was something about his defeated sigh that bothered him. He should just keep moving. Why did he care?

“What?” he finally turned his back to face Shane and inquired in a rushed tone.

Shane took off his round glasses and rubbed his eyes with closed fists like a sleepy 4 year old would do. His eyes had very interesting shade of blue in that sun lighting coming from the window hal, like cloudy skies when the storm has just cesead.

“I’m just…I was fine yesterday but I woke up feeling this an-” he paused as if he didn’t want to give power by using the word, "I’m just nervous. Girl, I even shaved my brows today because I keep running around changing outfits on the last minute and I can use extra time. I’m not gonna waste any covering them. I keep thinking that I forgot important things at home, you know what I mean?“ he blurted in the speed of light and then realized how fast he talked and chortled exasperated.

"And how are you?” he giggled through the words realizing his monologue.

Jamin wanted to tell him to fuck off. But he looked at him all smiling with no brows on. That fucking smile would always disarm him in seconds before the shooting.

“Relax. After breakfast I’m sure you’ll feel better” that was all he managed to say and squeezed his shoulder in reassurance.

“You bitches are comin’ or not, I’m starving!” Bob yelled at the elevator noticing the moment between his friends.

“Why does he have to be this loud in the morning?” Shane rolled eyes annoyed and Jamin laughed feeling the grumpiness dissipating.

“Come on…”

Jamin grabbed his hand leading him to meet the other girls. Shane was a little bit paralyzed with the gesture and it took him a few seconds to move.He had a firm grip and Shane responded with the same strength. He felt strangely calmer.

*

 

"I’m never wearing these damn shoes again”

Thorgy was removing the black peep toes pumps grimacing in pain. They were fine for a performance but never to stand up for hours. He could feel the circulation returning to his feet as he sat on stool in front of the mirror. He closed his eyes letting the feeling sink in. How he managed to make the whole Shady Bitches choreography was a miracle.He checked himself at the mirror and tried to remove the golden necklace he was wearing. The moment he tried to open it he noticed that the necklace got stuck in one of his dreads and the tank top he was wearing underneath the “I love New York” t-shirt.

“Fuck me!” he uttered trying to detach it without breaking it but he felt the it would make a hole on the tank top. How the hell did this happen?

Jamin was already undressed of Acid’s attire and wearing boy clothes in his wardrobe corner paying attention to the scene. The other girls were closer to Thorgy but they seemed not aware of his struggle.

“Need help?!” he hinted from across the room wishing the answer was no. His corner was a mess and he didn’t want to leave for the hotel with everything upside down.

Thorgy didn’t even listen to him and continued the curse festival twitching every time he would try to make a move to remove the thing out.

But Jamin was already walking to his direction without even realize it. The invisible magnet always pulling him towards Thorgy that he couldn’t understand why and was getting very annoyed about it.

“Ugh, I give up” he sighed frustrated.

Jamin stood behind him, he was bit shorter than Thorgy. His eyes traveled over his body before reaching for the neck. It was the first time he saw his arm tattoos so close, the blue bubbles leading to the circle on his shoulder. What does it all mean? Thorgy never makes any sense. The last time he was so close to Thorgy was in that New Year’s eve party years ago. And his hands were all over the body that was in front of him. He could even feel the electricity again. The taste of his lips, the heat of his breath as he pressed him on the bathroom wall…

When he looked at the mirror with his mind still stuck in that night he found Thorgy staring at him.

_Caught in the act._

He held an amused and curious expression of “Did you lose something back there?”. Jamin cleared his throat breaking the tension.

“Um, your body looks on point with this outfit, girl”

Thorgy just half smiled and placed both hands on the waist.

“They didn’t like the shoes though…and you were a great Adrenaline partner! Suck it, Chi chi” he peeked over his shoulder.

Jamin reached for his neck and tried to untangle the dread. His fingers were cold and Thorgy’s neck was hot so he shivered with the slight touch of the fingertips brushing the sensitive flesh. He was trying not to irritate his skin, so he got closer and Thorgy pushed some of his dreads out of the way and he could feel his breathing over his shoulder, making him shiver again.

“Ok girl, I know my hands are cold ice but I’m not a demon!” he responded noticing the hairs on Thorgy’s arms raising up.

He chuckled embarrassed and Jamin could swear he was blushing even with all that make up on.

“I think my tank top is ruined…it was one of my favorites, I have it for like 10 years…” Shane replied making eye contact with him through the mirror.

“So it’s like almost all your things” Jamin added and Thorgy cackled.

“You bitch!” he replied pretending to be outraged but laughing too.

They stood in silence again observing the girls talking through the mirror and the producers walking around. That so-called reality show.

“Nah, I’m gonna take this thing off with no damage” he reassured as his hands worked on the fabric carefully, "Ta daaaaaa!“ he announced cheerfully as the necklace slid into Thorgy’s shirt and he clapped hands frenetically turning to hug him but he was very stiff.

” Wooooo! Thank you, I love you" he said squeezing his shoulder.

“Yeah…” he reaplied in his typical monotone.

*

 

“What do you think about this skirt?”

Jamin asked holding a blue layered mid skirt while Thorgy was still on the table wrapped in his yellow scarf surrounded by papers and wigs.

“It’s cute. You’re thinking about to bring something different for Michelle, right?” Shane figured. 

“Yeah, I wanna be cute. But in new wave kinda cute? Maybe channeling Cyndi Lauper?” he twirled holding the skirt on his body showing the movement.

Shane thought Jamin was already cute in that exact moment. He nodded in agreement.

“I think Bob is pissed at me…but girl, that whole scene with Lucian was so extra”, Shane changed the conversation and the thoughts about Acid being cute gathering his papers from the table. “I know I’m annoying and I want to work on every single detail, but it’s because I think our group is the best, you know what I mean? I’m losing my damn mind…But ugh, I want us to fucking win this challenge!” he finished his musings noticing Bob already dressing up on the other side of the room, “You think I should apologize to him? I don’t want us to get on the stage with a strange energy…and I was-”

“THORGY”, Jamin hit the brake button before he would start all over again, "Bob is not mad at you. He is just dramatic as you are and you’re both driving me crazy! Lucian was not making sense and I’m sure Bob will make her atonement with him on stage later. She’s crazy but not stupid. Our song is awesome and you’re amazing, we know that you are really passionate about music, we knooooooooow so shut the fuck up" he spoken the fastest way he could.

Shane motioned to start a sentence but gave up and just nodded in relief.

“You wanna hear the song again?” he invited Jamin offering his ear phone with a huge and proud smile.

Jamin rolled eyes, put the skirt on the table in one thump and sat on the stool by his side. Shane offered him one ear plug, leaning towards his face, as if for a moment he was going for a kiss. But he tilted his head to the side so their cheeks were awfully close and they could listen to the Street Meatz demo.

They were in silence paying attention and one moment Jamin felt Shane’s eyes on him, waiting for his reaction to the beans joke part. He cackled when Bob exclaimed the sentence right after 5 takes.

“This is so stupid I love it!” Shane laughed through the words looking at Jamin removing the earplugs.

“It’s good, Thorgles. We’re gonna slay those bitches!” he reassured him. Thorgy side hugged him the same way he did when Bob and Lucian were having their drama in the studio. Jamin noticed the golden necklace on the table.

“Don’t wear this!” he pointed before leaving to his corner.

They found out later that all his accessories were cursed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deepening shadows gather splendor as day is done  
> Fingers of night will soon surrender the setting sun  
> I count the moments darling till you're here with me  
> Together at last at twilight time

When Shane was a teenager he almost died during a thunderstorm. He was coming back home from school and the street was flooded and the heavy rain caught up with him. He slipped and was carried away for almost one block. By a miracle he lightly hit his head and only got a few bruises. Despite the traumatic experience, being taken by nature was usually something exciting for him. He loved hurricanes, thunderstorms, raging oceans. Everything that was wild and powerful.

He was learning to appreciate the gap between primal happenings too, his latest favorite was the moment Jamin’s laughter becomes a cackle. It is a very specific second and Shane secretly hid his enthusiasm every time he would catch that.

Part living in a half relationship with Jamin has proved that the man was a different kind of force. The unexpected breeze in hot days that makes you remember summer is good. The gentle waves that you can swim on without fear, and yet mindful that the ocean is still the ocean. He had big mint green eyes that would pierce anyone that crossed him but laughed like a defenseless old aunt.

Shane tried to piss him off a lot. First it was an unconscious thing, protecting himself to fall into his charms. But as time went by he was fully aware that this was a test. How far Jamin would take all the _Shanerisms._

The thunderstorm never happened, Shane was not carried away by the water.

Maybe he was used to explosive relationships, to small doses of love and heavy amounts of meaningless sex. This was different than everything he’s experienced: Jamin was a new instrument: he that had no idea how to play it, and still, the melody was there soaring.

Jamin’s song was a distant sound in his bed. He was quietly checking things on his laptop, the morning light hitting his sleepy face, wearing a blue tank top and black pajamas shorts. Shane was by his side, naked under the sheets. He took a long shower and gave up dressing in the middle of the process when he caught Jamin awaken.It was a such a rare moment that he was up before him so he wanted to seize the it. They unconventionally still had time before their day started over. Before parting ways again.

He just stood there, lying in his stomach using both arms as a pillow, cheek resting on the back of the hand. He felt completely relaxed after the shower, the umid skin still drying up.

Gazing the one that got away.

Acid fucking Betty. He was in a relationship with Betty.

How did this happen?

“Do you still remember that New Year’s Eve party?” his voiced echoed out loudly from his musings.

Jamin that was concentrated reading emails was caught completely out of guard. He furrowed his brow and chuckled trying to conjure the memories from years ago.

“You mean…the night that we made out in a bathroom stall and I left you there because Becky stopped us and my boyfriend was outside?” he replied looking down at him raising his intonation.

Shane shifted position, lying on the side, elbow pinned on the mattress, arm holding his head full of thoughts.

“What if you have stayed that night?”

Jamin seemed even more rattled with the following question. He kept eyes down locked at Shane’s that seemed deadly serious.

“I…” he tried to find the words.

He wanted the say he was not the one for having philosophical discussions about the deviations of destiny at 7 AM, but he knew that when Shane was looking at him like that a full dissertation was required.

“Geez, Thorg… I don’t…know? Who the fuck knows? I don’t even know what we’re having for breakfast today. All I know is that night I wanted to be with you…I really” and he paused closing his eyes recollecting the sensation, “I really wanted to fuck you senseless"

Shane raised hiws brows surprised and Jamin rolled his eyes but continued. 

"And even with every fiber of my being telling me to stay I left…taken by mysterious forces of love or...Becky’s judgmental forces” he scoffed the last part making his goofy voice and Shane giggled. “So I just don’t know…and then we’ve never talked about it anymore. And then we’ve become close friends and we’ve got carried away by other things…and people. Maybe I was supposed to stay but the timing wasn’t right and now we’re between day and night in this constant twilight time…just because destiny is a clueless bitch!”

Shane kept staring at him in silence, sinking in his words. Jamin was a little nervous wondering if this was eloquent enough for his demanding urges of communication. Little did he know that all Shane could think about in that moment was how he loved to hear Jamin’s low register, especially husky in the morning and the spot on his stubble that magically didn’t grow any hair.

“You know…you could just have answered yes or no…and I’m the one that talks too much, honestly” Shane concluded teasing him in disdain.

Jamin was not amused shaking his head in disapproval.

“Asshole!” he groaned between teeth lowering himself to kiss Shane in the neck and biting his earlobe. Shane let go a lingering moan and that was enough for Jamin to put the laptop on the nightstand and climb on top of Shane as if he was going to give him a back massage.

“That’s why my back therapy is not working, this bitch keeps humping on me” Shane muttered with his face pressed on the pillows as Jamin kept kissing his back. It was a cold morning and his kisses were hot, the uneven breath trailing his spine.

“I like this new soap…” Jamin muttered planting kisses and tasting the skin on his lower back.

“Will destiny give us bacon and eggs for breakfast today?” Shane managed to inquire feeling Jamin’s hard on brushing on his naked ass over the sheet. He was slowing rocking his hips, getting him warmer.

“I’m gonna have breakfast right now…” he finally whispered on his ear slipping one of his hands under the covers and reaching for Shane’s ass and he jerked giggling. Feeling his positive response, Jamin changed position again, placing himself behind Shane opening his legs. He slapped his ass cheeks before burying himself in his favorite place.

Shane felt self-carried away to the sky, moaning louder as he felt one of Jamin’s hand grabbing his ass roughly, almost drawing blood, and the other reaching for his cock pressed in the mattress, pulling it back, making he arching his back, his tongue switching licking his lenght and then deepening inside of him.

“Fu…Ja..!” he stutteed in a haze pleasure feeling the over stimulation and Jamin’s finger slipping inside, breathless with the pillow in front of his face feeling the orgasm hitting way too soon inside Jamin's mouth. He let Shane there, panting still trembling with pleasure. Shane was trying to change position to lay on his back, but still too week to do do it “I want to see you…” Shane pleaded panting, his voice muffled on the pillow.

“You’re not going anywhere…” Jamin denied, and insirting two fingers inside of him again and reaching for his own cock, not even bothering to remove his shorts, just sliding one hand inside. He towered over him, placing soft kisses and licks along Shane’s neck intensifying the pace of his fingers inside him.

Shane was muttering sweet nothings over the pillow and Jamin felt very close, on the edge and holding back. 

"You fuck me so good...” he whispered on the pillow Jamin face was livid red…Jamin’s held him tightly, as if he was going to shatter into pieces of pleasure, feeling Shane’s body in spasm .Jamin removed the fingers slowly and laid by Shane’s side. Both panting listening to the sound of the traffic outside. Shane lazily reached for Jamin’s waistband pulling his cock out and started stroking it. They were facing each other, their desperate breaths and lips brushing…Shane sucked on Jamin’s bottom lip and stared at his piercing eyes again, fogged by desired, he knew the exact moment he was going to close them…the primal, the thunderstorm letting loose.

Shane pursed lips and he fastened the pace of his strokes, like in the most energetic part of an orchestra piece, enjoying the power he had over him and then he felt Jamin’s load hot pouring on his fingers and spilling all over his stomach, as he melted groaning burying his face on Shane's neck. Shane laid on his back exhausted, a huge smile on his face, panting heavily.

The ceiling of the room was shape shifting into cloud shapes, the liquid cooling off on his stomach.

Jamin reached for tissues on the drawer of the nightstand and started cleaning himself. Then Shane positioned himself sitting too, putting some pillows on his back and noticed that there was a spot the Jamin missed. Jamin was going to get it but Shane stopped his hand before he reach, sweeping it with his index finger and licking it.

“Morning protein” he said raising his brows doing something so obscene and yet looking absolutely innocent. Jamin kept looking at him amazed how he could pull that off.

“Well… _ahem_ …” his voice cracked a bit still shaken with the scene. “I guess you don’t want bacon and eggs anymore” he completed throwing the tissues on the trashcan across the room.

“You bet I want, bitch. I’m starving!” he replied shooing Jamin out of the bed and he got up laughing.

“I don’t think there’s even water in your fridge let alone solid food…but maybe I can ask the neighbor?” Jamin commented adjusting his shorts before leaving. He realized he was still fully dressed and suprisingly there were no stains on his shorts.

“My neighbor probably hates you, because you’re always making me scream and punching the fucking walls” Shane replied and Jamin shrugged proud of himself.

“Is there at least any milk or just bottles of vodka?” he wondered again.

“Make it work, bitch. You had yours I want mine” He bossily replied picking up Jamin’s computer from the nightstand. Jamin left the room cackling.

Another second Shane was blessed to catch. He took a deep breath looking at window. It was hard to believe that in a universe of infinite detours of the destiny Jamin wasn’t his in all paths not taken. In all scenarios happening in Shane’s head Jamin would always stay.


End file.
